Advice from Ursula von der Leyen, mother of seven, to young mothers - "Prevent others from causing you guilt feelings."
Did she always desire having several kids?
Von der Leyen
She and her husband valued their children: For both of them, career and family were essential.
Von der Leyen: "This has always been crucial for my husband and me. For the first 15 years, I was responsible for the kids and family matters. You can witness this in our professional lives. After 15 years, my husband achieved his habilitation and I had not even gotten my specialist qualification. In 2003, I became the Social Minister in Lower Saxony, and everything changed. I had no remaining time, and my husband had to step in as a father. He became self-employed and handled the kids and household wonderfully. He mentions today that it was the finest thing that happened to him. He wouldn't have built such a strong connection with the children otherwise. (...) It was beneficial for both of us that we both experienced it."
Do you feel bad about missing out on a lot of time with your family because of your career?
Von der Leyen: "I have no remorse. I shed those thoughts when we lived in Stanford in America for four years. In Germany, as a young, professional mother, I was often made to feel guilty. In the USA, it was exactly the opposite. They were convinced it was fantastic that we had three children and both worked as doctors. They inquired how they could assist us. I felt liberated upon not receiving any criticism, but support. We had twins there. When we returned to Germany with five children, I promised never to let anyone make me feel guilty again, but to improve the situation. This period in America formed my whole outlook on family policy. As Family Minister, I implemented parental allowance, fathers' months, and the right to a kindergarten space. If I could provide guidance to young women: Don't let guilt overtake you! You're amazing mothers! But of course, I have a deep longing, an intense yearning, and I wish I had more time. And that cannot change, because I also have a responsibility for Europe. I try to find a balance between the two as effectively as possible."
If re-elected for a second term, that would mean spending another five years in Brussels, distant from her family. Is it worth it?
"I've pondered this for a while. And I consulted the children. They said, as shrewd as they are, that I should make the decision. They didn't alleviate the burden of the choice from me. The decision to run for office once more intrigued me. Because I believe I shouldn't avoid my responsibility."
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Source: symclub.org