Identifying as Either a Surrogate of Empathy or an Agent of Incitement?

Identifying If You're a Supporter or a Provoker Instead?

In a groundbreaking study published in 1981, Friedemann Schulz von Thun introduced the categories of Empathizer and Instigator communicators. These two distinct types of communicators, which account for approximately 50% of the population each, can offer insights into our communication styles and help us become more responsive communicators.

Empathizer communicators are deeply affected by the impacts of relationships and are more likely to make life changes based on their feelings. However, when stressed, they may exhibit negative behaviours. They often regret thinking too much before speaking and biting their tongues too often. Empathizer communicators may also struggle with low self-esteem or negativism.

On the other hand, Instigators are natural-born problem-solvers who think deeply about the impacts of a career to make life changes. They are prone to being too aggressive and speaking less diplomatically. Instigators can sometimes speak too much before thinking, leading to regret. They are also known for their thick skin, not taking things personally enough, and their excessive self-esteem or positive thinking.

When stressed, Instigators may talk out in negative words. They are also prone to displeasing too much or telling you what you don't want to hear, then withholding compliments. Instigators forget the past and move on because failure and rejection roll off their backs. However, they may also suffer from excessive self-esteem or the-glass-is-half-full thinking.

Adopting the strengths of one's opposite communicator type can lead to more positive communication. For Empathizer communicators, learning to speak up more assertively and not holding grudges could be beneficial. Instigators, on the other hand, might benefit from being more empathetic and considering the feelings of others.

Knowing one's own communicator type can help become a more flexible communicator. It can also help see situations from a talk partner's perspective, fostering better understanding and communication in relationships. By understanding and embracing our unique communicator type, we can strive to become more responsive, empathetic, and effective communicators.