Overcoming the Impact of a Narcissistic Upbringing and Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
In a poignant guest post titled "Talking Loud, (they're) Hearing Nothing," Christian Van Linda delves into the profound effects of Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) and experiences with parental narcissism on behavioural patterns. The author of the post, Suzanne Stabile, shares her personal journey of healing from a wounding, toxic family system.
Born into a dysfunctional family system, Stabile was taught that her personal reality would be defined by those around her, rather than by herself. This conditioning, rooted in narcissism, shaped her life in profound ways, leading her to almost self-destruct.
The author's healing process began with acknowledging and loving the child within, and the child they had been in their dysfunctional family-of-origin. Cultivating self-awareness and courage to look at oneself takes time, but it was a crucial step in Stabile's journey.
Healing from such a background is a process with no set timeline. Stabile had to sit with herself off her meds for a year, mapping the origins of her pain and understanding her experiences as one of trauma and abuse. This period was crucial in helping her identify the dysfunction and gain awareness.
The child raised in a psychologically abusive family system sees threats everywhere. Conditioned to view everything as a threat rather than being conditioned for safety and healthy connection, the internal life of such a child is one of survival, not cultivation of success.
Stabile's child saw threats everywhere, and this conditioning led to a lack of trust in herself. This lack of trust is a crucial point of healing that is not always adequately understood. The author's healing journey involved freeing herself from the agents of mistrust before building systems of trust.
One of the most significant blows came when Stabile's father stole her soul by leaving the family. Despite her family members being capable of seeing the truth, they did not listen or try to look beneath the surface.
C-PTSD is not yet recognized in the United States Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), but it will be included in the ICD-11 coming out in 2022. This inclusion will hopefully lead to better understanding and treatment for those who have experienced such trauma.
Stabile's healing journey was not easy, but going back on her meds with a new and profound understanding of her wounds allowed her to construct a plan for healing. She continues to share her story, hoping to help others who may be going through similar experiences.
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