Misery of Embarrassment: Roots, Results, and Strategies for Overcoming
Healing from Toxic Shame: A Journey Towards Self-Love and Self-Acceptance
Toxic shame, a debilitating feeling of worthlessness and self-loathing, can stem from childhood abuse, neglect, or other traumatic experiences. This chronic feeling of unworthiness, unlike ordinary shame, can negatively impact one's sense of self and last longer, often resulting in symptoms such as low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, oversleeping or inability to sleep, stomach pain, overeating or loss of appetite, eating disorders, substance use disorder, codependency, and more.
Brent Metcalf, a licensed clinical social worker in Tennessee, suggests the first step to coping and healing from toxic shame is acknowledging the shame. Recognizing triggers that cause feelings of shame can be achieved through practices like journaling and mindfulness. Once acknowledged, it becomes possible to challenge negative thoughts and toxic self-talk. Metcalf suggests questioning the validity of these thoughts and reframing them.
Speaking with a mental health professional can provide guidance and help in addressing emotional distress related to toxic shame. Psychodynamic therapy can help explore the root of one's shame to heal the original trauma. A cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) technique for challenging and reframing thoughts involves acknowledging the thought, recognizing the trigger, challenging the thought, and reframing it with evidence.
Self-love takes time and can be aided by jotting down positive characteristics in a journal or near a computer. Regaining a more positive sense of self separate from the shame caused by poor childhood treatment is possible. Healing from toxic shame involves taking steps like practicing self-compassion, challenging negative thoughts, seeking support from others, and learning new coping strategies.
For those seeking professional help, an online therapist directory can assist in finding a professional that suits one's specific situation. Remember, healing from toxic shame is a journey, and it's okay to take it one step at a time.
Note: This article is intended for informational purposes only and should not be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your mental health professional or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition.
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