Red Flags of Overly Self-Centered Mother-In-Laws

Identifying Characteristics of a Narcissistic Mother-In-Law

In the complex tapestry of family relationships, a narcissistic mother-in-law can present unique challenges. This article aims to provide insights and strategies for navigating such a situation, focusing on the mother-in-law as an example but applicable to any narcissistic in-law.

Narcissistic behavior, as defined by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th edition, text revision (DSM-5-TR), negatively impacts others. Antagonistic narcissism, a subtype of overt narcissism, involves taking advantage of others, guilt-tripping, lacking commitment to events, and lying to get what they want.

A narcissistic in-law can create issues within a marriage and affect mental health, as well as impact other areas of life like relationships with other family members. Ignoring these issues will not help, so it's important to consider practicing ways to deal with it.

Narcissistic in-laws may exhibit entitled behavior, believing they deserve things more than others and should never be denied. They may form and maintain relationships only when they gain something. In-laws with narcissistic behaviors often overestimate themselves, thinking they are more attractive, intelligent, or special than they are.

Lack of empathy can manifest as difficulty acknowledging the emotions and needs of others, cutting off conversations, dismissing what others say, and acting impatient and uncaring. Narcissistic in-laws may also crave attention and look for ways to get compliments. Aggressive and hostile behavior can be a sign of narcissism in an in-law, often displayed when they don't get what they want and feel powerless.

In-laws with narcissistic traits may not respect boundaries and can get offended when they are set. Prioritizing your and your partner's emotional well-being is crucial as you interact and set boundaries with a narcissistic in-law.

Dealing with a narcissistic in-law involves setting and implementing boundaries, providing a loving and safe relationship for your partner, avoiding sharing emotions with them, learning techniques to stay calm, using clear and direct language, improving communication with your partner, turning to your support system, talking with a professional, and prioritizing your and your partner's emotional well-being.

Recognizing a narcissistic in-law might involve noticing a lack of empathy in their behavior. If you find yourself in such a situation, seeking help from a professional can protect your mental health and encourage fresh insight into the situation.

In one case, a mother-in-law diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder and obsessive-compulsive washing behavior was cold, demanding, and manipulative in her relationships with her son and daughter-in-law. She treated certain family members differently, favoring those most like her while excluding or making others feel unwelcome.

Dealing with a narcissistic in-law can be challenging, but with understanding, patience, and the right strategies, it is possible to maintain a healthy and happy family life.