Habits that could potentially make you draining to others

In today's fast-paced world, it's easy to fall into habits that can make conversations draining for both ourselves and others. From phubbing to constantly needing to be right, these habits have real consequences on our relationships.

Phubbing, a term coined to describe the act of being physically present but mentally checked out, often on one's phone during conversations, is a common culprit. Nearly 32% of people report being 'phubbed' two to three times a day, according to recent studies. This habit can negatively affect relationships, particularly intimacy and closeness in romantic partnerships.

Another exhausting habit is making every conversation about oneself. This can stem from a good place, but it can be draining for the other person. Constantly fact-checking friends or jumping in with "Well, actually..." can also be exhausting to them.

Conversational theft, or hijacking conversations to redirect them back to oneself, is another habit that leaves people feeling unheard and unimportant. Sharing one's own experiences in response to someone else's story can be a form of competition, rather than empathy.

Dale Carnegie once said, "You can't win an argument. You can't because if you lose it, you lose it; and if you win it, you lose it." Constantly needing to be right can make people exhausting to be around. This habit usually stems from insecurity, not intelligence.

Awareness of these habits is the first step to changing them. For instance, I used to be terrible at phubbing and making the other person feel like they weren't worth my full attention. Recognising this helped me make a conscious effort to improve.

Change takes time, and slipping into old patterns should not be met with self-criticism but with an effort to continue improving. Asking first if someone has space to listen to one's problems makes a huge difference in how they receive what is shared. Real listening means sitting with someone else's experience without immediately filtering it through one's own.

In conclusion, being mindful of our conversational habits can greatly improve our relationships. By being present, empathetic, and considerate, we can make conversations more enjoyable for both ourselves and others.