Guidelines for Choosing a Partner - Key Factors to Ponder

In the intricate tapestry of human relationships, various factors come into play when seeking a partner or maintaining a lasting bond. Let's delve into some key insights from philosophy and modern perspectives.

Men, it seems, value the attractiveness of women, appreciating youthful freshness, a healthy and athletic appearance, an attractive symmetrical face, shiny hair, and a well-proportioned body. However, the ideal female figure is considered to have long legs, a narrow waist, and well-formed, neither too small nor too large breasts.

When it comes to relationships, Confucius pondered that love can make life sweet or bitter. He suggested that careful vigilance is advised when choosing a partner to avoid bitterness in life. Today's men are less drawn to heavily made-up, ditzy-looking, and extremely provocatively dressed women.

Women, on the other hand, often look for good looks, pleasant scent, well-maintained clothing, vitality, athleticism, social status, career success, and attractiveness in a man. Relying solely on physical appearance can lead to regret in old age, as beauty fades and leaves behind personality traits.

In lasting relationships, a common intellectual level is key. Similar humor and shared interests are important for successful partnerships. Victor Hugo (1802-1885) said, "There is nothing more beautiful than being loved, loved for oneself or rather: in spite of oneself." This sentiment echoes the idea that one loves as long as one desires the other for their own sake, wants to change nothing about them, and accepts them fully as they are.

One loves as long as one looks up to each other for various reasons. Traits such as conversation readiness, consistent interest, tolerance, understanding, and mutual trust deepen a relationship. The more experience one has from previous relationships, the better one knows what they value in a partner.

In a relationship, if either or both parties wish to constantly change each other, it's likely they've made the wrong partner choice. Humans can't truly change. Either two people suit each other - or they don't. If one partner is intellectually superior to the other, the more intelligent partner may become bored with their below-par partner as sex becomes less important in old age.

The most common qualities people seek for a lasting relationship are emotional commitment, honesty, respect for boundaries, shared future goals, reliability, and mutual trust. Indicators include discussing long-term plans like marriage and children, respecting each other's limits, expecting and giving honesty, and addressing disrespectful behavior to maintain a healthy partnership.

In conclusion, love and relationships are complex, but understanding the role of physical attraction, shared interests, intellectual compatibility, and character traits can guide us in our quest for a fulfilling partnership. As Victor Hugo wisely put it, "There is nothing more beautiful than being loved, loved for oneself or rather: in spite of oneself."