Code Dependence Driving Enablement: An Examination

Code Reliance Creating Enablers

Codependency, a pattern of behaviour in a relationship where one partner compulsively strives to meet the needs of the other, can be a challenging issue to navigate. This article aims to shed light on codependency, its causes, and potential solutions.

Codependency often arises in relationships where one person requires a higher level of support, such as a parent with bipolar disorder, a child, or a partner experiencing substance use disorder. In such relationships, it's common for the other partner to give more energy and time to meeting the needs of their loved one, often compromising their own health, independence, or values.

Enabling, a behaviour that reinforces an issue or unhealthy behaviour in a loved one, can lead to codependency. Enabling might include ignoring or defending toxic behaviour, helping someone avoid consequences for their actions, or giving money to someone experiencing substance use disorder that is ultimately used to support their addiction.

The good news is, therapy and self-care can help. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) might be used by a therapist to help with codependency. Other approaches include setting boundaries, practicing self-care, fostering personal responsibility, and processing grief through acceptance of reality. Support groups, counseling, and education on healthy relationship dynamics help promote independence and emotional health.

Codependents Anonymous, Alcoholics Anonymous, Al-Anon Family Groups, and Narcotics Anonymous are 12-step group programs that can help recognize codependent behaviours and learn independence. Seeking counseling or therapy can also help stop enabling behaviours.

It's important to remember that speaking honestly with your loved one about codependency in your relationship is crucial. Giving grace, avoiding ultimatums, and using supportive language are healthy ways to support someone with substance use disorder. However, cutting off contact while a loved one is using substances can be a way to stop enabling.

Signs of codependency include putting the other person's needs above your own, dropping everything to help the other person, only having joint friends and hobbies with them, protecting your loved one from the consequences of their problematic behaviour, lacking healthy boundaries and open communication, reasoning away or ignoring unhealthy or destructive actions, getting angry when offers of help are turned down, and feeling a sense of loyalty even when the relationship becomes unsafe.

Setting healthy boundaries with your partner is important when dealing with codependency. Spending time alone exploring individual hobbies or reconnecting with friends is important for self-care. The American Psychological Association's Find a Psychologist tool can help find a good therapist.

In conclusion, understanding and overcoming codependency requires self-awareness, open communication, and seeking professional help. By recognising the signs, seeking support, and setting healthy boundaries, it's possible to foster a healthier, more balanced relationship.