Comforting Words for Tense Moments

Calming Statements for Troubled Moments

Change, even significant change, often starts small. This is especially true when it comes to the shift in our approach to dealing with ourselves.

In the late 20th century, a transformative change occurred in the realm of psychology. The method of self-reprimand was gradually replaced by self-compassion, primarily popularized by psychologist Kristin Neff through her research and studies starting in the early 2000s.

Self-compassion, unlike self-reprimand, offers a gentler, more understanding approach to dealing with stress and hardships. One way to practice self-compassion is by reframing our self-talk.

Reframing self-talk can be a powerful solution when dealing with stress. The choice of phrases in self-talk should feel meaningful and authentic to the individual. Examples of compassionate self-talk include acknowledging feelings ("Today is really hard for me"), understanding the cause of stress ("Stress is draining. It's understandable I'm tired"), and offering self-forgiveness ("I forgive myself for...").

Starting small with self-compassion in the current moment can make a big difference. For instance, closing your eyes and putting your hands over your heart while reciting a self-compassionate phrase can help reconnect to oneself.

Reframed self-talk can help one learn from their mistakes ("I made a mistake and I can make it right"). It can also help one recognize their limitations ("I'm not a robot. I need rest"). In difficult moments, it can help think about supportive words that may help ("Think about what supportive words may help in the moment").

It can be challenging to dismantle and change damaging internal dialogue, but it's possible to start with kind, comforting words. Some people might prefer using "I" in self-talk, while others may prefer "you."

Compassionate self-talk can help reduce feelings of anxiety, upset, and depression. It can also help one accept their feelings and find ways to feel better ("I accept my sadness", "I accept my frustration"). Reframed self-talk can even help one focus on self-nurturing, similar to a parent caring for an inner child ("Think of yourself as a parent nurturing your inner child").

Remember, it's never too late to start practicing self-compassion. Small changes, over time, can lead to significant improvements in how we perceive and manage ourselves.

Photographer Credit: Khadeeja Yasser on Unsplash.