Abusive Individuals Classified: The "Martyr" Figure

Abusive Individuals Categorized: The Deceptive Victims

In many toxic relationships, the dynamic often follows a pattern where one person, known as the Victim, tries to manipulate the other, referred to as the Target. The Victim frequently portrays himself or herself as helpless and pathetic, making it difficult for the Target to leave.

The Victim may twist reality to blame the Target for the problems in the relationship, implying that the Target is fatally flawed and incapable of meeting their needs. This manipulation is often so subtle that the Target may spend years trying to "improve" without success.

The guilt is a common tool used by Victims to keep the Target in the relationship. The Target feels guilt due to constant implied messages of guilt from the Victim, and believes he or she is responsible for fixing the relationship. This guilt prevents the Target from leaving the abusive relationship.

Victims often portray themselves as innocent and blameless, despite being self-centered and lacking empathy. They may not respond to requests to explain themselves more clearly, further reinforcing the idea that the Target is the problem.

To break free from this type of relationship, the Target should trust himself or herself, set boundaries, and disengage from the madness. If the Target feels manipulated, he or she should stop participating in the drama. The life of the Target belongs to him or her, not the other person.

For the relationship to improve, the Victim needs to develop insight, take ownership, and change. The Victim cannot be in a healthy interpersonal relationship and uses manipulation or abuse to prevent any true and meaningful connection. In essence, the Victim sabotages his or her own happiness and blames the Target for it.

The problem in the relationship is often created by the Victim. The Victim abusers only see their own hurt, even if it's fabricated. This is a pattern that has been extensively studied and documented in Lundy Bancroft's book, "Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men," published by Berkley Publishing Group in 2002.

This article is written to the true victims of this type of abuse, referred to as "Targets" in the article. It is crucial for Targets to understand that they are not to blame for the abuse and that they deserve better. By recognising the patterns of manipulation and taking steps to protect themselves, Targets can break free from these toxic relationships and start their journey towards healing and happiness.